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Some things I have learned in woodworking

Most of this is "lifted" from a thread on a woodworking forum. But it's very funny and I thought it would be good to share. Feel free to add to the list, but nothing serious:

  • The dust collector will not do very well when it’s not turned on.
  • You will always have 50 times more sawdust then you thought you would.
  • You will always be short 2 bf of wood on a given project.
  • When you buy a new tool, within a week after your return time runs out, they will bring out a new better one at a cheaper price.
  • You can't keep all the scrap.
  • When you order something, it will always get there the day after you needed it.
  • Even if you have two walls of your shop covered with clamps, you never have enough.
  • Your air nailer will still make little holes even though there are no nails in it.
  • When you put your sacrificial fence on, you have to add the thickness to the fence ruler.
  • When you blow the chips out of a mortise, make sure you have your safety glasses on.
  • That glue you wiped on your pants will not dry by the time you sit down for dinner.
  • It's hard to remove dried blood from a concrete floor.
  • If you think you can build it for $50, you better have $150 set aside for it.
  • If you think it will only take a week, figure a month if you are lucky.
  • Your shop is never "done" until you are dead or otherwise quit woodworking.
  • The hardest skill to master is making a profit.
  • Getting an 18-guage brad into your body is not as painful as removing it, yet leaving it in doesn’t seem like the right solution either.
  • Clamps and routers are like rabbits; they reproduce in their own.
  • Trying to make money at woodworking is a good way to ruin a perfectly good hobby.
  • Nobody ever regretted getting a band saw one size too big.
  • The best way to find out how easily a tool will break is to loan it to someone.
  • "He who dies with the most tools wins."
  • Don't quit your "day job" too soon.
  • NEVER use ChapStick when sanding.


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