Word games - Woodshop News

Word games

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Let’s play a game. Would you like a flammable cabinet in your shop? I sure as heck don’t and I’ll bet you don’t either.

But wait, the flammable cabinet I’m thinking of is one of those locking metal cabinets intended for the storage of flammable materials. In fact, I got an e-mail from a catalog company that has them on sale right now, and even though I know exactly what they mean the first thing that comes to mind is opening the box and getting hit in the face with a fireball. It’s just a case of an unfortunate name, but it got me to thinking that we can have some fun.

Remember my joke about pine sap being a knucklehead looking for lumber? Well, let’s see how many of these we can come up with.

Some of these can be typos of the one-letter-off variety. For example, should PETA protest the use of rabbit planes? Along the same lines, exactly what would you use tongue oil for? And if you remove the hyphen from positive-hook blade, I suppose you’d get a hook blade with a really good attitude. Those are fun, but they’re made-up and involve playing around with grammar and spelling. How about some real ones like that flammable cabinet …

I hear references all the time on the various online forums about hand planers. Sounds painful. And do you suppose Gene Krupa ever used a drum sander? And when it comes to a biscuit joiner, I’ve found that a big glob of strawberry preserves joins biscuits quite well.

Why is it that every time I read an ad for a boring machine, I start to yawn?

The pneumatic accessory aside, I suppose a hose reel could be a lively Southern dance.

And don’t get me started on a shaving horse.

OK, now it’s your turn.

Till next time,

A.J.

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