Imagine Bruce Wayne or Clark Kent finally revealing who they really are. Like those other superheroes, I, too, have a secret identity.

Oh, you think you know me all right. I’m that handsome guy in the plaid shirt, working in the perfectly clean shop in the photo that’s accompanied this blog since day one. You see that photo and think, “Yeah, I want to be that guy. So cool. So suave. So neat and tidy.”

Thanks for that. I appreciate it, but it’s all just a fantasy.

On a typical day in the shop I look nothing like that. On the one hand, I’m far handsomer than I appear in photos. On the other, I dress like a slob.

Let’s take a look at the mental picture you have of yours truly, along with the reality of what my regular shop clothes look like.

And the thing of it is, you’re only seeing the front of that shirt. There’s almost as much on the back, as I tend to wipe my hands behind me just as often as on the front. There’s also a fairly large rip in the back where I once caught the shirt on a nail, and rather than remove the shirt and work it loose I just pulled free and went about my business.

Speaking of rips, you’re not seeing my regular shop pants at all. The standards of this website – and my own modesty, such as it is – prevent me from taking photos of that.